you knew that the kirijo group were responsible for tartarus and the shadows appearing right? and yukari's dad was a scientist who died in the accident that made them appear. they were both pretty open about that stuff by the time u joined us.
[ What wasn't open, at least not during the time prior to Shinjiro's death, was Makoto's involvement in all this. As his thumbs hesitate over his watch, he sighs. He really prefers it when other people explain this part for him. ]
that accident is the one that killed my parents. aigis was chasing a shadow on the loose and we got caught in the crossfire. the shadow ended up hiding itself in me, somehow.
all the other arcana shadows, they were actually just pieces of bigger one called nyx. and the one that was trapped in me was the last arcana shadow, death, aka the appraiser. the appraiser's job was to summon nyx, and then nyx would destroy everything.
basically, ikutsuki used us to help him gather the pieces of nyx together, and i was brought to gekkoukan and SEES so i could bring the appraiser back to do its job.
yeah with the time machine experiment. the old kirijo was crazy as hell from everything i heard.
[But the rest, as Makoto expected, is news to him. And it's... a little hard to really wrap his head around. So Makoto had a Shadow inside him the whole time? He knew the guy was different, sure, but he wouldn't have expected that.
...Also things he wouldn't have expected: that the dopey chairman who was barely-nominally in "charge" over overseeing SEES was, for some reason or another, bent on destroying the world. But then again, he'd been a researcher before the explosion, right? Maybe crazy just came along with it all.]
well that sucks
[So much for their plan. Granted, he liked to pretend he wasn't invested in SEES's mission, instead only there for his own personal reasons... but it's hard to keep that lie up, now that he's already gone and died.]
so what, you had to die to keep that from happening? man it sounds like shit really went down after i bit it.
and you didnt say if you're doing ok about it or not.
oh, it wasnt a time machine experiment. they were experimenting with shadows, on purpose.
[ just in case the deception wasn't bad enough already. ]
a lot more happened than just what i've said. everything changed after you died. i dunno how much you wanna know about everything else or what.
[ Chidori and Junpei, him and Ryoji, Strega and Nyx's cult, Ryoji's offer... if Shinjiro wanted to know more, there is plenty more he could talk about. As much as Makoto might resemble the leader he remembers, it's more accurate to say that the person he rarely shows to others, the Makoto on the inside, is a different person now, which makes it hard to answer his last question in any constructive way.]
i thought they were using the shadows to like. make it work or something? i knew they were doing shit on shadows, though, i got a real basic run down when me and aki got on board. but hey who knows how much was true.
[Really, the whole thing was weird and sketchy, but honestly... he was a middle schooler who just fucking woke up to a bunch of coffins and monsters one night and the splitting pain of a beast in his skull that wanted to break free. he'd probably have taken any explanation, especially if it came with the idea that he and his best friend could be some sort of heroes.
god he'd been naive.]
i mean whatever you wanna tell me or think's important i guess. not like it'll change anything and i can't really do anything about it all. maybe it was the full moon talking but you seemed pretty intent on the idea that people should know what happens.
[ Because Shinji seems a lot more interested in hearing about it now, even though he's sticking to the fact that he won't be able to do anything about it. Makoto hasn't forgot about his own request for Shinjiro to tell Akihiko the truth.
Knowing he might be coming off as aggressive: ]
when I was being a jerk, THAT was the full moon talking. i'm sorry.
convince me of what. That people should be told the future?
No.
[He doesn't hate being told, and sure-- of course he's going to be curious. But if it all ended up okay in the end, why tell him that everything he'd thought he was finally doing right in his life had been predicated on a lie? That it turns out everything he'd done in trying to keep his promise of doing what was right, had in fact been actively damning the world?]
this place ain't back home. you and me ain't going back home. so none of it matters here for us. and i don't think we can change what's already happened for us. so it just seems unnecessary.
yeah i get it. i was pretty hyped up too. almost wanted to chokeslam you on the counter or something. fucking weird.
[ Makoto is in no hurry to recount all the horrible things that happened. It was bad enough having to mention his parents; acknowledging they once existed always conjures bad memories. But he'd been willing to put that aside in order to avoid keeping secrets. Apparently, Shinjiro doesn't care if Makoto keeps things from him, but Makoto suspects that attitude is just more avoidance.
Either way, his senpai isn't ready for this yet. There's no use trying to force it. He'd stopped blaming himself for failing to save Shinjiro, but he can't act like they were best of friends before then, either. ]
we're getting second chances here. he's make the most of it and not fight again. or at least try not to, haha.
[He's glad Makoto isn't pressing it, just because he knows it would just lead to continuing to butt heads. If this were Akihiko, he'd never learn to stop. Just keep pressing and pressing and going, certain that his opinion was true and correct and just needed to be hammered in a few more times. Thankfully, he's sure Makoto sees the sense in just letting their disagreement lie for the time being.]
i guess so. it's kinda like a shitty vacation where you turn into a monster and have no idea how long it's actually gonna go on for. I've just kinda been taking it day to day.
You got anything you actually wanna do here, or are you just riding it too?
thats not what it kinda is. thats literally exactly what it is. 🙃
[ it's a relief that their tifffinally over, at least for now. and maybe, Makoto has a chance to get as close to Shinjiro here as he did with the others before the Fall.
Not that he'll admit that it's near the top of his list, as far as Shinji's question goes. ]
[at least Makoto is... super up front about it. So hey, points to him. It's probably a good thing Iori isn't here to egg him on and turn it into an absolutely mortifying series of events.]
i mean go for it if thats what you want. just the human ones or you gonna try and give the monster girls a try too?
[or maybe shinji should LEARN HOW TO JOKE like a normal person]
yeah i guess most people dont kick it before they're 20. hey go for it see what you cant find.
i dunno i never had a lot of interest in that kinda stuff. had a bunch of other shit going on so i never really thought about like... relationships or jobs or anything like that. i kinda knew as soon as i started on those suppressants that i wouldn't last more than a few years so i figured why bother with it.
yeah same here. still kinda weird to think about it though.
[he hasnt thought too deeply about it, really- about the idea that he could actually have a future. It's just-- it's a lot to consider and he's not sure he's ready for that.]
uh yeah I dunno about that. I dont think i'd be any good with it.
ok but if i tried and actually got it right, then I'm stuck with some girl.
[i'm sorry makoto your friend isn't asexual but he is fucking useless at this, having just SKIPPED that whole part of being a teenager. i hope you never thought he was actually cool. ]
yeah but dont forget, it'd be a girl you wanted to pick up in the first place. and no ur not stuck with her, u can just break up.
[ Alas, Makoto cannot hear his inner monologue. He finds himself wondering - not for the first time - if Shinji isn't interested in women at all, for for some other reason or whatever. Oh well, not his business. ]
ok, cool. lets talk about it more later. im gonna try to talk to fuuka, and then im gonna head home
[just AMBIGUOUS SEXUALITY until he accepts being alive and figures himself out, obviously. He's just gotta break out of the mindset of being dead to the world and nothing mattering and himself being worse for all involved. Alas, if only they could share inner monologues or actually learn to communicate feelings.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
you knew that the kirijo group were responsible for tartarus and the shadows appearing right? and yukari's dad was a scientist who died in the accident that made them appear. they were both pretty open about that stuff by the time u joined us.
[ What wasn't open, at least not during the time prior to Shinjiro's death, was Makoto's involvement in all this. As his thumbs hesitate over his watch, he sighs. He really prefers it when other people explain this part for him. ]
that accident is the one that killed my parents. aigis was chasing a shadow on the loose and we got caught in the crossfire. the shadow ended up hiding itself in me, somehow.
all the other arcana shadows, they were actually just pieces of bigger one called nyx. and the one that was trapped in me was the last arcana shadow, death, aka the appraiser. the appraiser's job was to summon nyx, and then nyx would destroy everything.
basically, ikutsuki used us to help him gather the pieces of nyx together, and i was brought to gekkoukan and SEES so i could bring the appraiser back to do its job.
no subject
[But the rest, as Makoto expected, is news to him. And it's... a little hard to really wrap his head around. So Makoto had a Shadow inside him the whole time? He knew the guy was different, sure, but he wouldn't have expected that.
...Also things he wouldn't have expected: that the dopey chairman who was barely-nominally in "charge" over overseeing SEES was, for some reason or another, bent on destroying the world. But then again, he'd been a researcher before the explosion, right? Maybe crazy just came along with it all.]
well that sucks
[So much for their plan. Granted, he liked to pretend he wasn't invested in SEES's mission, instead only there for his own personal reasons... but it's hard to keep that lie up, now that he's already gone and died.]
so what, you had to die to keep that from happening? man it sounds like shit really went down after i bit it.
and you didnt say if you're doing ok about it or not.
no subject
[ just in case the deception wasn't bad enough already. ]
a lot more happened than just what i've said. everything changed after you died. i dunno how much you wanna know about everything else or what.
[ Chidori and Junpei, him and Ryoji, Strega and Nyx's cult, Ryoji's offer... if Shinjiro wanted to know more, there is plenty more he could talk about. As much as Makoto might resemble the leader he remembers, it's more accurate to say that the person he rarely shows to others, the Makoto on the inside, is a different person now, which makes it hard to answer his last question in any constructive way.]
no subject
[Really, the whole thing was weird and sketchy, but honestly... he was a middle schooler who just fucking woke up to a bunch of coffins and monsters one night and the splitting pain of a beast in his skull that wanted to break free. he'd probably have taken any explanation, especially if it came with the idea that he and his best friend could be some sort of heroes.
god he'd been naive.]
i mean whatever you wanna tell me or think's important i guess. not like it'll change anything and i can't really do anything about it all. maybe it was the full moon talking but you seemed pretty intent on the idea that people should know what happens.
no subject
[ Because Shinji seems a lot more interested in hearing about it now, even though he's sticking to the fact that he won't be able to do anything about it. Makoto hasn't forgot about his own request for Shinjiro to tell Akihiko the truth.
Knowing he might be coming off as aggressive: ]
when I was being a jerk, THAT was the full moon talking. i'm sorry.
no subject
No.
[He doesn't hate being told, and sure-- of course he's going to be curious. But if it all ended up okay in the end, why tell him that everything he'd thought he was finally doing right in his life had been predicated on a lie? That it turns out everything he'd done in trying to keep his promise of doing what was right, had in fact been actively damning the world?]
this place ain't back home. you and me ain't going back home. so none of it matters here for us. and i don't think we can change what's already happened for us. so it just seems unnecessary.
yeah i get it. i was pretty hyped up too. almost wanted to chokeslam you on the counter or something. fucking weird.
no subject
[ Makoto is in no hurry to recount all the horrible things that happened. It was bad enough having to mention his parents; acknowledging they once existed always conjures bad memories. But he'd been willing to put that aside in order to avoid keeping secrets. Apparently, Shinjiro doesn't care if Makoto keeps things from him, but Makoto suspects that attitude is just more avoidance.
Either way, his senpai isn't ready for this yet. There's no use trying to force it. He'd stopped blaming himself for failing to save Shinjiro, but he can't act like they were best of friends before then, either. ]
we're getting second chances here. he's make the most of it and not fight again. or at least try not to, haha.
no subject
i guess so. it's kinda like a shitty vacation where you turn into a monster and have no idea how long it's actually gonna go on for. I've just kinda been taking it day to day.
You got anything you actually wanna do here, or are you just riding it too?
no subject
[ it's a relief that their tifffinally over, at least for now. and maybe, Makoto has a chance to get as close to Shinjiro here as he did with the others before the Fall.
Not that he'll admit that it's near the top of his list, as far as Shinji's question goes. ]
hmm...
score with lots of babes.
no subject
seriously?
[at least Makoto is... super up front about it. So hey, points to him. It's probably a good thing Iori isn't here to egg him on and turn it into an absolutely mortifying series of events.]
i mean go for it if thats what you want. just the human ones or you gonna try and give the monster girls a try too?
no subject
[ maybe he'd switched from serious to shitposting too quickly. ]
altho, i feel like its ok for me to say that i died way too young as far as my love life goes. i wouldnt be surprised if u feel the same way.
plus lots of other stuff too... i rly want to find a job. im actually sorta disappointed that i wont be able to do my last year of school
no subject
yeah i guess most people dont kick it before they're 20. hey go for it see what you cant find.
i dunno i never had a lot of interest in that kinda stuff. had a bunch of other shit going on so i never really thought about like... relationships or jobs or anything like that. i kinda knew as soon as i started on those suppressants that i wouldn't last more than a few years so i figured why bother with it.
no subject
[ if Shinji doesn't need suppressants anymore, that's... kind of a big fucking deal for him, isn't it? ]
maybe the three of us can go out together and pick up girls. operation babe hunt the sequel
no subject
[he hasnt thought too deeply about it, really- about the idea that he could actually have a future. It's just-- it's a lot to consider and he's not sure he's ready for that.]
uh yeah I dunno about that. I dont think i'd be any good with it.
no subject
you could be my wingman at least
no subject
[i'm sorry makoto your friend isn't asexual but he is fucking useless at this, having just SKIPPED that whole part of being a teenager. i hope you never thought he was actually cool. ]
you mean help you out? sure i dont mind.
no subject
[ Alas, Makoto cannot hear his inner monologue. He finds himself wondering - not for the first time - if Shinji isn't interested in women at all, for for some other reason or whatever. Oh well, not his business. ]
ok, cool. lets talk about it more later. im gonna try to talk to fuuka, and then im gonna head home
no subject
[just AMBIGUOUS SEXUALITY until he accepts being alive and figures himself out, obviously. He's just gotta break out of the mindset of being dead to the world and nothing mattering and himself being worse for all involved. Alas, if only they could share inner monologues or actually learn to communicate feelings.]
alright. just lemme know. see you at the house.